I have always said that I learn when a cosmic 2 by 4 hits me on the head.
It seems that many of us have been in the movie “Speed” most of our lives. [SPOILER ALERT] In that movie, a deranged ex-cop installs a bomb on a bus that will explode if it drops below 50 MPH. The bus careens through city streets and traffic, throwing terrified passengers this way and that. A clever policeman and young woman must outsmart the crazy man in order to stop safely and live.
If I looked at this (or any other movie) as a dream, what would I learn? An achievement part of me fears slowing down. I think something awful will happen. The culture supports this view: we value activity, contribution, productivity. Yet other parts of me know I am doomed at this speed and those voices struggle to be heard and find the courage to rest, reflect, and live more fully.
I have always said that I learn when a cosmic 2 by 4 hits me on the head. My cosmic hits have come through illnesses. Cancer stopped my over-scheduled work life. My husband’s stroke yanked us back to basics and forced us to figure out and embrace a new normal that was slower, more planned, more considerate of the wisdom of the body.
The Earth has sent us a global illness via Covid-19. By necessity, we must stay put and tend to the basics of life (cleanliness, family, learning). As we work and live from home, we become more authentic: our private face is our public face and vice versa. Pets and children roam through the room on ‘important’ work calls. We’re not as presentable as we juggle multiple demands. In that authenticity, it seems people are more vulnerable and wiser. We talk about what brings us joy, how we have had to adapt, the heart-melting kindness others have shown, how hard it is to homeschool and how appreciative we are to have others offer help. We are learning deeply that If we are to survive, we must consider others. We are interdependent, physically, economically, spiritually.
Even though families who have two careers or are single parents are extremely busy, many say work or family life will never be the same again. Traveling away from home to attend business meetings (sometimes all over the world) is not necessary. Preserving relationships with children is more important than precision in algebra. Simple joys are life giving. It is really okay if the grocery story has one brand and not the other. Sitting on the front porch to greet dog walkers is more setting than rushing around for one more activity on Sunday afternoon. Living our own ‘time clock’ is more satisfying than responding constantly to external demands. Helping others heals the self and the soul.
In our some of our seminars, we guide participants through a visioning exercise in which they have exactly one year to live. No negotiating that reality. One year. What will they do in that year? With whom will they spend time? Where? What will be said at their funerals to celebrate their lives and legacy?
Values surface instantly. Tears flow. There is awareness of the gap between what they know is important and how they are spending their time. In the vision, most quit their jobs, focus on dear relationships, live in beautiful places, and even explore what calls them, be it traveling or playing the guitar. Everyone slows down and savors people and places they love.
The pandemic is inviting us to do this same reflection.
Notice your self judgments during this time?
Did I do enough today? What would count as enough?
What counts in terms of what I did? Finishing a project? Gazing at the beautiful snow? Number of calls? Taking time for the neighbor? Chewing slowly to savor simple food? Listening? Reflection? Reading an exciting book? Walking the dogs? Praying? Napping?
Can you add
What does my body want to do? be?
How do I acknowledge that we are in this together?
If I were really living my life like I want, what would I keep the same? change?
What talents and yearnings are calling me that now I may have the time to consider?
How can I envision a future in which slow as well as fast, rest as well as activity, reflection as well as decisiveness, compassion as well as competitiveness, wisdom as well as knowledge are important?
“If certain plant species… do not lie dormant for winter, they will not bear fruit in the spring. If this continues for more than a season, the plant begins to die. A period of rest…is not simply a human psychological convenience; it is a spiritual and biological necessity. A lack of dormancy produces confusion and erosion in the life force. We, too, must have a period in which we lie fallow, and restore our souls. (Wayne Muller, Remember the Sabbath)
If we can make peace with time and activity, our dormancy leads to new life, perhaps more fulfilling. And then we can genuinely answer poet Mary Oliver:
“What will you do with your one wild and precious life?”
Comments